All posts by onioluwafemi

19 Things Remarkable People Think Every Day!

In as much as the thought process is very important to success in life, every accomplishments is based on actions-not on thoughts. Achievements starts with an idea, a perspective, a point of view, or even just an attitude.

Here are a few things remarkable people think about everyday, and how those actions have propelled them to success.

1.“If nothing else, I will succeed on effort alone.”

Jimmy Spithill, skipper of America’s Cup-winning Team Oracle USA, says, “Rarely have I seen a situation where doing less than the other guy is a good strategy.”
“If nothing else, I’ll win on sheer effort.”

You may not be as experienced, as well funded, as well connected, as talented… but you can always out think, out hustle, and out work everyone else.

When everything else seems against you, effort and persistence can always be your competitive advantages — and maybe the only ones you truly need.

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2.“I’ll step up.”

Whenever you raise your hand, you wind up being asked to do more. Bummer, right?

Actually, no: doing more creates an opportunity to learn, to impress, to gain skills, to build new relationships, to do something that you would otherwise never have been able to do.

Success is based on action, so the more you volunteer, the more you get to act, and the more opportunities you create.
Raise your hand. Step forward. Step up. You’ll be glad you did.

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3.“There’s a lot more going on here…”

It’s easy to view the actions of others solely through the lens of how that behavior impacts us, especially if those actions impact us negatively.

Still, most employees don’t try to do a bad job. Most customers aren’t intentionally difficult. Most people aren’t out to get you.

Fail to look deeper and you miss an opportunity to make a bad situation better — for everyone.

4. “That wasn’t nearly as bad as I imagined.”

The most paralyzing fear is fear of the unknown, (at least it is for me.) Yet nothing ever turns out to be as hard or as scary as you think.

Plus it’s incredibly exciting to overcome a fear. That is the only time you get the, “I can’t believe I just did that!” rush, a thrill you may not have experienced for a long time.

Try something scary: physically, mentally, or emotionally. Trust yourself to figure out how to overcome any problems that arise.
You will.

5. “No one else would do that… so I will.”

Often the easiest way to be different is to do what others are unwilling to do.
Pick one thing other people won’t do. It can be simple. It can be small. It doesn’t matter.

Whatever it is, do it. Instantly you’ll be a little different from the rest of the pack.get it doneThen keep going. Every day, think of one thing to do that no one else is willing to do. After a week you’ll be uncommon. After a month you’ll be special.

After a year you’ll be incredible, and you definitely won’t be like anyone else.

6. “I can’t do everything today… but I can take one small step.”

You have plans. You have goals. You have ideas. Who cares? You have nothing until you actually do something.

Every day we let hesitation and uncertainty stop us from acting on our ideas. Pick one plan, one goal, or one idea and get started. Just take one small step.
The first step is by far the hardest. Every successive step will be a lot easier.

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7. “I need to just shut up.”

Most people who talk alot thought they are insightful and clever and witty without knowing they were just been a hoot. Occasionally, very occasionally, you might even have been.
Most of the time you are not.

Truly confident people don’t feel the need to talk — at all. Sometimes you realize you are talking not because the other person is interested in what you have to say but because you are interested in what you have to say.

Never speak just to please yourself; when you do you end up pleasing no one..but ofcourse, yourself.

8. “I need their help.”

Everyone needs help. Admitting that isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of self-confidence and strength.
And it’s a great behavior to model.

Besides, asking another person for help instantly recognizes their skills and values and conveys your respect and admiration. And while that’s reason enough to ask someone for advice, for an opinion, or for a helping hand, you also get the help you really need.

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9. “They need my help.”

Of course the opposite is true, even though if you’re in a leadership position–or in a position to impact someone else’s life and career–other people may definitely see asking for help as a sign of weakness. And they’ll definitely hesitate to ask. So offer.

But don’t just say, “Is there anything I can help you with?” Be specific. Say, “I’ve got a few minutes, can I help you finish (that)?” Offer in a way that feels collaborative, not patronizing or gratuitous.

Then you make a real difference in another person’s life, and take a big step towards creating a genuine connection them.

10. “That’s not my responsibility… but I don’t care.”

Job descriptions are helpful–until they get in the way of getting things done. No matter what our role or what we’ve accomplished, we’re never too good to roll up our sleeves, get dirty, and do a little grunt work.

No job is ever too menial, no task too unskilled or boring.
In a world of relentless delegation, sometimes, “If it is to be, it’s up to me,” is still the best attitude to take.

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11. “I think I’ll try it their way.”

We should set our own courses and follow our own paths…most of the time. But sometimes the best move is to eliminate all the trial and error, eliminate all the anxiety, and simply adopt what made someone else successful…believe me, you will get there faster this way.

Try it. Pick someone who has accomplished what you would like to accomplish and follow that path.

Confident people are able to recognize excellence in others, because it does take self-confidence to admit someone else is smarter, better, faster, etc. than we are. Don’t feel the need to reinvent perfectly good wheels.

12. “I could have done better.”

We’ve all screwed up. We all have things we could have done better. Words, actions, omissions, failing to step up, step in, or be supportive.
Successful people don’t expect to be perfect, but they do think they can always be better.

Think about your day. Think about what went well. Then think about what didn’t go as well as it could have. Take ownership. Take the blame. Take responsibility.
And promise yourself that tomorrow, you will do a lot better.

13. “I shouldn’t… but I’ll still say yes.”

You’re busy. Your plate is full. There are plenty of reasons to sit tight, stay safe, and keep things as they are. But sitting tight also means that tomorrow will be just like today.

Say yes to something different. Say yes to something scary. Say yes to the opportunity you’re most afraid of. When you say yes, you’re really saying, “I trust myself.”
Trust yourself.

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14. “It’s not about me.”

We’re all servants (in a good way) and our customers, peers, bosses, and partners all have needs. Meeting their needs — on their terms — is more important than somehow “staying true” to ourselves.

Maintaining your integrity is vital, but there’s a big difference between staying true to yourself and “just being me.”

Recognize the things you do or say with the sole purpose of showing you’re an individual – and then vow to do those things on your own time (if at all.)
What you “are” is defined by what you do. Stand out through what you do for others.

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Protecting His Manhood

Yetunde Olasiyan's Blog

I think Nigerian mothers have not done well raising future husbands and fathers. Let’s admit it, we have not scored above average, that is if we achieved average at all. I am looking at the mothers and how they have fared or failed in their duties to their sons and how what we have left undone is undoing our societies.
Today, I am worried about our sons, today’s young men. I am truly worried and every mother should pause, take a closer look at her sons and daughters and answer this question: are you empowering your son for the journey ahead of him? Answer truthfully, after all you are alone and you don’t have to let anybody hear you.
Take a closer look at your beautiful daughter and your handsome six-footer son. Who is better prepared for the task ahead? I know some of us had realised this and have…

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7 TIPS ON HOW TO PEACEFULLY END AN ARGUMENT

An argument is never a good thing but sometimes we cannot avoid it, so its wise to know a few tips on how to end any argument on a good note, no matter what. But to disagree is one thing, to be disagreeable is another.

Holding up so much ‘pressure’ inside is not healthy whether at work or at home.

I cannot stand being angry at someone, and I don’t like feeling like someone is angry at me. Always try to resolve any conflict peacefully, even if the person is irritating and you don’t like them.

If you have an argument, which you’ll definitely do sometimes, here are 7 tips to follow to end it peacefully:

1)Keep those bad things to yourself: Its so easy to say wounding words, such as ‘I hate you,’ ‘Don’t want to see you anymore,’ or ‘You are the worst person in the world,’ but its so difficult to apologize. You don’t have to voice every thought that you have. Sure, you form your own views and you have your own opinion, but sometimes its better to keep them to yourself.

2)Listen: A person who starts an argument is certainly angry. To end an argument peacefully, you will need to let them vent without interrupting them. Sure, you might want to defend yourself, but that will only make it worse. Don’t intensify the anger, and don’t try to win an argument. Take a few deep breaths, listen and then try to speak peacefully.

3)Remind yourself why you love them: If you are trying to end an argument with your spouse/partner, I’ll suggest that you think about the things you really love about them. Keep those things in mind when you argue with your partner, and you will be much more authentic and honest. Remind yourself of those ‘special’ details that makes them your choice.

4)Treat others the way you want to be treated: When it comes to arguments, we should remember this saying, ‘In any relationship, you always mirror yourself and your emotions, actions and energies are aligned.’ If you want someone to be friendly and positive, you should display those qualities and treat that person with respect no matter how angry. You are.

5)Use your point of view: When you let the person vent and you finally start talking, use your point of view. Try to speak calmly and respectfully and make sure you are friendly. This will make them less defensive and they will be less hostile. I always believe that every conflict can be resolved peacefully.

6)Don’t try to win an argument: Its a bad idea to try to win an argument. Its not a competition and there’s no winner in an argument. Keep in mind that winning is not the aim, but ending the argument peacefully. That means you should talk the problem over and come to an agreement. Remember, the more argument you win, the fewer friends you’ll have!

7)Silence is golden: There’s a sayin that, ‘When an argument flares up, the wise man quenches it with silence.’ Silence is one of the most effective ways to end an argument. It is essential when it comes to negotiation. Many of us find an awkward silence uncomfortable, but its important for processing feelings and thoughts as we’ll as making a decision. Its better to keep silent for a while than to say something that can make things even worse…which you may end up regretting.

Its not easy to end an argument, especially if the person wants to argue and is not interested in resolving the conflict. But the tips shared above can really help in most common arguments.

How do you usually end an argument? Share your thoughts with us!

In the service of His majesty!
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MENTALLY STRONG? 13 THINGS YOU SHOULDN’T DO…part B!

People have been calling entrepreneurs like Richard Branson and Elon Musk crazy for years, and yet today they are billionaires who are changing the society for the better. Because they never worried about what could go wrong – only what could go right.

Today we’ll complete our list of ’13 things mentally strong people don’t do’, starting from no 8 (check previous post for the part A).

Please don’t forget to click ‘follow’ at the end of this page for new updates.
Enjoy…

(13 things mentally strong people don’t do)

8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. We all know the definition of insanity, right? It’s when we take the same actions again and again while hoping for a different and better outcome than we’ve gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs.

9. Resent Other People’s Success.
It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.

10. Give Up After Failure.
Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.

11. Fear Alone Time.
Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone. They use their down time to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they don’t depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.

12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything.
Particularly in the current economy,
executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does
not owe them a salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their
preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.

13. Expect Immediate Results.
Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes take time.

Do you have mental strength? (That’s a big question you should ask yourself). Are there elements on this list you need more of?
Personally, I would like to reinforce my own abilities further in each of these areas today.
How about you?

Oni ‘Femi
petobe33@gmail.com

In the service of His majesty!
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CALLED TO BUILD AND INSPIRE!

Then Almitra spoke again and said, and what of Marriage, master?

And he answered saying:

You were born together, and together you shall be for evermore.

You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness.

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a flute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart.

And the oak tree and the cypress stand not in each other’s shadow.

Culled from, ‘The Prophet’

Oni ‘Femi,

In the service of His majesty!
28C4DBF3

MENTALLY STRONG? 13 THINGS YOU SHOULDN’T DO!

Wow! January is gradually winding-up! Whatever your plans are for this year, your ‘thought pattern’ or mental strength is going to play a very important role.

For all the time executives spend concerned about physical strength and health, when it comes down to it, mental strength can mean even more. Particularly for entrepreneurs, numerous articles talk about critical characteristics of mental strength—tenacity, “grit,” optimism, and an unfailing ability.

However, we can also define mental strength by identifying the things mentally strong individuals don’t do. There are about 13 list of things mentally strong individuals don’t do, at least for this article. Please, enjoy.

1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves.
You don’t see mentally strong people feeling sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way they’ve been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair. They are able to emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned. When a situation turns out badly, they respond with phrases such as “Oh, well.” Or perhaps simply, “Next!”

2. Give Away Their Power.
Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions. They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond.

3. Shy Away from Change.
Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear,” if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.

4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control.
Mentally strong people don’t complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognize that all of these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.

5. Worry About Pleasing Others.
Know any people pleaser? Or, conversely, people who go out of their way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.

6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks.
A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.

7. Dwell on the Past.
There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future.

A very big thanks to Amy (a psycotherapist and clinical social worker). Join us in a fortnight for the concluding part. Don’t forget to leave a comment and follow us for updates.

In the service of His majesty!
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